Dreams

So I'm gettin ready to start my junior year. Tomorrow I move into my sorority and we have sisterhood week all next week. This is NOT one of my favorite events. I love my sisters but I have all damn year to bond with them... I just feel that this week should be mandatory for the new recruiters. Or at least have it where people who have done both sides of recruitment don't have to be there until wednesday. I really dislike giving up two weeks of my summer vacation for this. I'm not home that much as it is!

Secondly..my schedule BLOWS. I think this is the worst yet. I have classes 9-4 everyday but friday when I'm done at 2. I have a different amount of classes practically every fucking day. So the schedule has not been memorized as of yet.

Third, my books...yeah they cost a shit ton. Almost 700 dollars. The funny thing is the classes that have the expensive books are the ones I REALLY didn't want to take. german has the most expensive book. Granted I do love German,but I never wanted to take it in College. I never wanted to take a language at all in College. And now I'm forced to take 2 years of it and pay 133 dollars for a damn book. I'm sorry but 133...really? REALLY? WTF!!!

So basically this year is off to a sucktastic start and I'm already ready for Winter break...

And the answer to that statement is.... FALSE.

This summer has been anything but easy! It sucks because I feel like everytime I write in here it's to bitch about something. But I guess it's because I don't really bitch outside of this.

Anyways, at the beginning of summer my dog Gulliver died. Then at the end of May my dog Asta had a stroke. She lost movement in her back legs,wouldn't eat,and had to pee on herself. I spent the entire month of June working with her. I hand fed her,held her butt up so she could pee,carried her,retaught her how to walk. And Now she is back to using the step stool to jump on the bed. She still limps every once in a while though and sometimes she falls,but she's made a really good recovery.

Sadly a job never happened. No place closer than 3 hours was hiring until..oh let me see...last week! They all just decided to wait until I couldn't take the damn job. WTF. And I couldn't take classes because none of them worked with my schedule. They either started before school got out or didn't end before I had to go back.

I spent the 4th of July with my friend Suzanne at her friend Wendy's house. We went swimming,talked about my strap perfect(lol), and ate food. It was nice. And at some point Wendy is going to let me and Suzanne come and ride horses.

I haven't seen too many of my friends this summer though. Most of them have moved or are out of country. I've only seen my besties in Va maybe like 5 times this whole summer. It kind of sucks since I'm only home for a total of 4 months out of the yr. And I will only be home for like 2 weeks at Christmas time because I'm going to London with Suzanne. It's my 21st birthday present. And then I'm hopefully going to Greece for 11 days next summer.

In other news I went to NYC on the 11th of July. I went for the biggest adopt a thon in the country, Broadway Barks. Hosted by Mary Tyler Moore and my idol Bernadette Peters. I met her and totally freaked out. I got her autograph,a picture,and an autographed CD. Along with a bajillion photos. haha! =D There were soooo many Broadway stars there. Some were: Angela Landsbury,Lauren Graham,Audra McDonald,Ashanti,Constantine(from american idol),Alice Ripley(best actress tony award winner) and the list goes on and on.And they all came together just to help get dogs and cats adopted! Amazing, just amazing.

Sadly my dad tried his hardest to ruin the day for my mom and I. He sent my mom a lovely little text message that basically said if we ever tried something like that again he would leave us and we could live off his retirement check.

Well I think that about covers my summer so far! 3 weeks and 6 days until I leave for South Dakota to start my junior year in college. That's so weird!!

Peace,Love,and Chocolates!

Andie

This semester was seriously intense..and sadly it showed in my grades. I managed to get A's in the two courses that dealt with my major. Pretty sure the only reason that happened is because I maybe got 5 hours of sleep a week. I wrote 30 fucking papers this semester...ugh. Not fun. I like writing speeches...but papers...not so much! I got an A in theatre too,but that was kind of an obvious. I got two C's,hence the not so good part. And I was 1-2 points away from B's for both. A 78 and a 79.6. You'd think they'd round if it was THAT close...but no! I got the asshole professors. It's weird because all you get graded on are the 3 tests each one gave and I got two B's and one C for both.

Anyways,I'm just uber happy school is done. I seriously do not enjoy it. But so far this summer I've attempted to get a job with zero luck. Seems like no place is hiring or even thinking of thinking about maybe possibly hiring. =/

But yeah, that's the big update here. Managed a 3.0 for the semester and am still jobless. Fun,right?

so it's winter break...yay! I'm so mixed on how to feel. When I'm at home I'm avoiding him as much as possible and I'd rather not be home. But then when I'm with my friends i love being home. I hate this whole double thing. ugh.

I've gotten most of my grades for the semester. 2 A's and a C. damn math always fucks up my gpa. I'm waiting to hear about my creative writing grade. blah.

Well I'm going to try and find something to get me out of the house. Hope everyone has a merry christmas!

It's going to be fun! Except not.

MWF

9-9:50 Intro to Theatre
11-11:50 Communication Symbols and Society
1-1:50 Communication in Inteviewing
2-2:50 Human Sexuality

T/TH

11-12:15 Social Problems

I really wanted to take a special topic history class on Ancient Egypt. =/ It was at 6-8:45 pm on Wednesdays. But a few of my classes are going to be very work heavy and 18 credits is the max you can take without permission from the Dean. So I decided to just stick with my 15.

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have WAY too much to do this week. I just want to crawl under my covers and sleep and hide from the world. My schedule for this week is as follows:

Monday: 8 minute motivational/inspirational speech...that's being taped so i get to dress nice. yuck. It had to be researched so that's what my weekend was.

Tuesday: short story for creative writing...and by short i mean 6-8 pages.

Wednesday: We have slatings/elections at the sorority house

Thursday: Math test

Friday: a 50...yes 50 minute presentation...which I will spend most of the week researching and doing.

November is starting out sucky.

I know I want help...but I'm too scared to ask for it. I know that I have to do this and I know that my therapist might not be enough.She's great...but 50 minutes a week is not enough. But I don't want to tell others. I would feel like such an obligation. Why should others have to know? Why should others have to deal with a world they're not familiar with? Why do I feel like all I am is an obligation?

It's be so much easier to to just be alone. No one would ever know. But I don't want to be alone....but I don't want to be an obligation....

I hate this.

i feel...numb.

Like there's nothing going on because there's too much going on. This past week was ok...

I went and had advising to see what classes I should take next semester. My MWF schedule is going to be insane. I'll have 4 classes. and then T/Th I have one for 3 hours. FUN! x_x

I also talked to my math professor and my communications professor. I'm barely passing math and need to get a C. My comm. professor is just cool. I know she doesn't know what I'm going through,but it helps that she's trying to understand and she's willing to help.

I'm so tired,but sleep just doesn't happen. I constantly have nightmares and I wish i could explain. But I'm not ready for the whole world to know.

anyways, I'm going to go finish watching my show.

Peace,Love,and Chocolates!

Honestly I hate writing journal entries. It's too much like evidence. haha. That's probably why i suck at writing in this thing. I'm going to try to start again though. See how long it lasts this time. So I guess I should update a lot of info. Like the fact that I'm not in high school anymore. Sad. I liked it there...even if other entires say differently. College kind of blows. First semester was a cake walk. Second semester kicked my ass though. It was the first time in my entire life that i did not have a 3.0 gpa. That was hell to explain to my dad. I'm pretty sure he jus wanted to kill me...i know i wanted to kill me. But according to my therapist at the time my mental health jus absolutely sucked second semester. Now how many people's jaws dropped when i wrote therapist? yeah...i started seeing one almost a year ago. It's fucking free here at USD! And a lot of shit happened that led me to be forced into therapy...anyways....

Now onto this year. So I decided to only take 13 credits because i really wanted to focus on passing math.It's the last time i have to take it and it's the first time it counts towards my gpa. Yeah Not going so well. At the moment I'm failing. Never failed anything before. I hate math. It's evil.I love My other three classes though. But Math just brings me down. I'm so terrified about what my dad is going to say/do if I fail. And I've been trying so hard. I guess they're wrong. Hard work and studying does jackshit.

Well I have class in about a half hour and i still have to get redy and all that jazz. I'll try to update this again...but don't hold your breath.

Peace,Love,and Chocolates!

OMG she's updating!

haha. Well summer is almost over. tear tear.

It has been a good summer i guess. I really don;t want it to end though. I finally got to see my best friend/soul twin last month. It was awesome! And I've gone swimming almost everyday. I got my fourth laptop. he last one just died. And I've got my classes for college. I leave in Aug. 25th! I'm pretty scraed. I'm not used to doing this type of thing. But hey...it's just another challenge to conquer. My friends are throwing a pool party for me in a week. It sould be fun. And I really don't kow what else to write...so I'm gonna go.

peace,love, and chocolates.. (yes stil say it!) =)

Yeah So since the last time i wrote. A lot has happened. I graduated high school. For senior year I had a 3.9 GPA. WOOT! Overall I had a 3.7 GPA. I graudted cum laude w/ honors and a medal for forensics. I went to the after party our school had. It was on a boat. But it kinda stunk. My grandparents were in town and that kinda sucked too. I am leaving for South Dakota on the 25th of August. I'm going to USD! WOOT WOOT On the 29th of next month my friend Jessica and I are goin to ocean city and we are going to a foam party! Other than that life has been pretty dull and stuff. If you really wanna talk to me and stuff you should look up Andrea Kantrovich on myspace. I have two and they should both show up. Add whichever you like. B/c I'm on there wayyyyyyy more than I am on here. (obviously)

well TTYL...maybe. =p

this year is NOT off to a good start. My Gov. teacher retired last week and we have this new guy. He doesn't speak much english and it's hard to understand him. UGH.

soooo much hw...not enough time.

good-bye.